


"The things I haven't told you" "Won't ever stop us"

by nicky0074



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Depression, F/F, Love, Making Love, Mental Health Issues, Self-Harm, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-23
Updated: 2017-03-23
Packaged: 2018-10-09 18:29:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10418442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nicky0074/pseuds/nicky0074
Summary: Kara is dealing with depression,anxiety and self harm because of her parents' death and the feeling of being left alone in the world until her girlfriend Lena shows her that she is loved and that they can get through this together.Bonus if they watch "Imagine me and you" cuddling on a couch.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I thought a lot about publishing this work and now I finally did, this fic is very important to me and well, if it sucks then I'm sorry *laughs* this work's very personal for some aspects so I don't quite know if it can be truly aprecciated or understood, at least not completely, but here it is. I hope you like it.   
> If you want to se the art/cover for this work go check my tumblr @nickygleek74 
> 
> Also forgive me if there are any mistakes (english is not my native language, I did the best I could)

I walk through the town heading home,music running in my head through the headfones. I'm so exicided and I can't wait to get home to my waiting beautiful girlfriend. We're supposed to meet at 3:30 oh god! I'm gonna be late! I run as fast as I can and arrive at her house in record time.  
I knock on the door 3 times and hear someone say "Coming" before the door's opened.  
As I lift my eyes, that were planted safely on my shoes, I see beautiful black hair,pale skin and stunning green eyes staring at me. I smile widely and move forward hugging my love tightly while saying " Missed me?" . She she holds me for a few more seconds before replying softly " Of course I missed you silly! So,so much." She takes my hand between hers and guides me inside before kissing me gently . We move to the couch and I say " What do you want to do?" She looks thoughtful and for a moment, her nose and mouth curl in that adorable pout she makes when she can't find a solution and gets frustrated; I wait till she gives up completely before I suggest to watch a movie, but when I do she says " But the ones I have here I've already seen them so many times and I can't make some new ones appear by magic". I grin at her and reply " Well... If I were you, I wouldn't say so" then I get a dvd out of my huge bag and hand it to her.As soon as she sees the present she screams " Oh my God baby, it's my favourite! Thank you so much!" She hugs me tight and I say " You're welcome. Lets put it on". 

She cuddles against me when the film starts. "Imagine me and you" it's also my favourite so I spend only half of the time staring at my girlfriend instead of watching it, normally I would do so for the whole movie. My eyes travel down her whole form ,taking every detail in, she's gorgeous, all of her is, her eyes, green with a hint of grey,like a forest through the rain; her small perfectly shaped nose; the pale white skin of her cheeks that seems so cold but secretly holds enough warmth to heat up the whole universe.I keep staring at her pink,now uncovered lips,that for everyone else are always painted red; her raven hair,wild locks I love to wrap around my fingers anytime I have the opportunity to; and then her wonderful body I wish to worship in every possible way,from her round breasts,down to her toned stomach and her soft, wide hips to the gentle curve of her ass and thighs.I shake my head from those thoughts and notice that the movie's ended and my gilfriend is looking at me curiosly, with a mishievious spark in her eyes.I look down,emabarrassed as a wide blush spreads itself all over my cheeks,neck and chest.I feel a finger rising my chin up and I find myself looking over to a smiling Lena who says "You don't need to hide from me honey.It's okay" She looks at me in the eyes saying "We could go upstairs if you want.There's no need to rush though, if you're not ready we'll wait.Okay?" I reply in a small voice "Okay".

It's in these moments that I feel our age difference most,she's 21 while I'm only 18. At first things were not easy, she had crazy shifts at the bar and we both had to study for our exams,then I met her friends and well,they weren't exactly nice to me just as my parents were at her.We had a lot of fights over it all,but eventually found out that maybe it was worth it and we stuk together.Thinking about that makes me realize how much I love this girl,who has done so many sacrifices to make me feel comfortable every second I've been with her,even at the worst of times, even when she could have had anyone else so easily.I look at her again and I'm suddenly aware of all the love, the still unconfessed love, that burns inside me,so I gather up all the courage I have,knowing the possible consequences of what I'm about to do. I stand up, take her hand in mine and hold it tightly,entwining our fingers together,I tug her arms lightly,leading her towards the stairs,she smiles at me,a sweet,understanding smile and drags me all the way up to her bedroom. 

The room is quite large and the bed is placed in the middle of it, the grey sheets look soft and smooth, not at all like the ones I have at home.She sits on the edge of the bed with me and says "If you're not sure there's no problem, we can go back down or stay here and talk for a while.I want you to be sure for this okay? I already told you I'm willing to wait all the time you need and I mean it." I look at her nervously and say "I am sure I'm ready, but that's not why I..." She brushes her fingers on my cheek and asks with a concerned voice" What's wrong baby? You know you can tell me everything" My gaze drops at my feet again as I tentatively say " There are things I haven't told you, things about me that...Things that could change your mind, that could make you leave and I've been so selfish not telling you, it's just that I didn't want you to leave me, not yet. And if we do this you will know and I'm scared, I'm so scared" tears are running down my cheeks and down my neck and chest, I try in vain to hide it,so she grabs both sides of my face with her hands and kisses me gently until I stop crying,then she rests her forehead against mine and caresses my cheeks with her thumbs a few more times before saying " I won't leave you. Whatever it is I'll stay here and we'll face it together. And you know why?" I shake my head, confused, waiting for her next words "Because I love you" she answers softly.

My eyes widen at the words and I find myself fastly leaning forward and kissing her hard and long, our tongues and lips dancing together only leaving one anothers to breathe. I last brush my lips on hers, keeping her lower one in my mouth for a few seconds before I pull away and rest my forehead against hers while murmuring " I love you too, I love you so much". We lock eyes and I clearly see the burning desire in her green pearls so I kiss her again and whisper " Make love to me". At this she moves forward taking my bottom lip into her mouth and sucking on it while she presses her whole body into mine; I moan into her, kissing her with fervour while I run my hands all over her form. She rocks her hips against mine and I find myself getting wet even with our clothes separating us. Her kisses start going lower as she buries herself in my neck , kissing nipping and sucking at my sensitive flesh; despite all the pleasure I'm feeling, I'm still nervous, and she knows it, feels it so she entwines our hands together and kisses my collarbone gently before saying " If you want me to stop just say it, promise me " I look down at her and nod while saying " I promise". She resumes her activities and I go back to moaning shamelessly for her. She runs her hands on my blouse and I gasp invoulontarily, anxiety starting to grow.Obviously she notices it and looks up with careful, loving eyes and says " I'm going to unbotton it now okay? There's no need to be nervous honey. Let's do it together" I nod and move my hand,joining the one over my blouse.We move simultaneously, slowly on each button until the fabric stands open at my sides,my whole waist now bare. She eyes my stomach and breasts hungrily, her mouth agape before she lets her hands wander my up per body as she whispers again and again " You're so beautiful baby. So very beautiful" she kisses me again and gets off my blouse completely leaving my arms bare. I instinctively cross my arms around my chest tightly, hiding them from her gaze. She looks at me with kind eyes and slowly takes my arms away from my body, she eyes them carefully and runs her hands up and down; there are scars all over them, some of them are white, old ones, others are pink and already healed, but the angry red ones are those who are easiest to see, but perhaps the hardest to look at.

I close my eyes in shame as my love's hands shake around my abused wrists, tears stream down my face and I start sobbing uncontrollably. She hugs me tighter than she's ever done and I try to push her away screaming "No, stop! I knew I'd hurt you sooner or later . I don't deserve you!" She holds me more forcefully instead and says " No, shhh baby,shhh, i love you so much. I'm so sorry my love. If only I had known before, oh my god why didn't you tell me? I could have done something, could've shown you how much I love you before. I'm so sorry. Shhhh, I love you so much" 

She rocks me back and forth till I calm down a bit and then stares down at me through her teary eyes " Why do you do it?". I swallow soundly before I speak " I don't know exactly, maybe a lot of factors together. They said it was depression when I- sometimes I get this anxiety that I can't stop and the sudden need of cutting myself is overwhelming, I can't do anything about it and since my parents died I've felt alone, like no one loved me anymore so I stopped loving myself entirely. I'm so sorry Lena". She speaks again, more quiet now, her voice breathy and tense " Did you ever do it because of me?" I rush forward and say " It's not because of you. It's me, it's my fault.I never meant to make you feel like any of this is because of you and I'm so sorry but you have to believe me, you are the one thing that makes my life worth living" she stares at me disbelievely and says "Then why do you keep doing it?" angry tears dropping down her face "You could die! What would happen then? Maybe you just don't understand just how much danger you put yourself in every time you do it." I press myself against her and run my fingers through her raven hair before saying "I know, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry baby. I'll understand if you want to leave me,but I beg of you,please don't. I know that it's a lot to take in but we can do this, I can do this if you're with me. If you could love me while I'm like this just for a little bit more I'll be good for you.I'll stop.I'll heal. And then we can be happy. Just a little bit longer I promise"  
I rest my forehead against hers clinging to her as if my life depended on it; she pushes me away and I feel my heart break in my chest, but then a hand finds its way to my mouth and caresses my lips " You really don't get it, do you? I could never leave you, and I certanly won't ever stop loving you"

She kisses me hard and messy, her hot tongue soothing the aches of my crying. She's hovering above me now so I can only place my hands on her hips to pull her flush against me while she devoures my neck. I whimper constantly for the raw pleasure she's giving me, her kisses though remain gentle enough to make everything feel amazing;she sucks at my pulse point before moving lower to my breast,she kisses and licks the soft flesh,then she takes one of my nipples into her mouth and sucks on it rolling it on her tongue "It's so good baby, I've never felt like this before" she sucks even more eagerly and I moan " Don't stop, please, don't stop" She doesn't, but she does move her other hand down my body reaching the small bush standing just above my private area; she plays with the hair a bit before removing her head from my breast,I whimper at the loss and she asks " Are you ready love? Are you still ok with this?" I'm so glad that her concern is still there after my revelation,so I kiss her one last time before I murmur my answer against her lips "I'm yours,my love" she smiles sincerely and kisses me again while she brings one of her fingers to my entrance and pushes it in; I moan instantly at the feel of it sliding in and out of me. Her mouth is now back on my nipple, sucking hard on it, I jerk my hips forward trying to get more friction, one of my hands is squeezing her delicious ass in time with the thrusts of her fingers while the other one is bound tightly to my girlfriend's.When she pushes her fingers deeper in me and brings her thumb on my clit, I scream "Oh God ! Oh baby please! I need you ... please make me cum!"  
She begins circling my clit with her thumb while she adds a third finger, I feel my insides tighten and I know that I'm close,she moves faster,harder and I lose myself in the uncomparable pleasure I'm feeling; I moan wordlessly louder and louder until I reach my climax screaming into my girlfriend's mouth.

She kisses me lazily while she keeps moving her fingers on me, easing me down from my high. I open my eyes and smile as I say the truest words I could ever say "I love you so much" then I kiss her,she kisses me back and then asks " Was it good?" I turn serious and whisper against her lips " It wasn't just good. It was perfect.You were perfect".

I kissed her again and pushed her on the bed pretending to be rough, but ending up to burst into giggles, I slide my naked body on top of my girlfriend's and push one leg between her strong thighs right against her lady parts,she moans at the contact so I begin to move my leg and hips against her while kissing my girl's beautiful pale neck. Soon she starts grinding her hips harder against my leg as she begs "Baby please, give me more... Please, I need to feel you!" I smirk proudly, unable to resist at how needy she sounds, and looks apparently; I glance down and see my thigh covered by her juices,I moan at the sight before I decide I've done enough teasing and remove my leg from between hers,shushing her whimpers of protest by replacing it with my fingers. I run them up and down her slit teasing her red swollen clit before I move to her tight hole and gather some moisture "You're so wet my love" I say,trying to be confident and bring it to my lips before sucking hard "Mhhh...and you taste so good. Do you want to try it?" She moans and nods almost violently. Wow,confidence works.  
I return my fingers to her entrance then brush them over her plump lips,she opens her mouth wide and then sucks on my fingertips licking them clean, I kiss her then,showing her all my love and desire. I start kissing down her body until I end up between her legs,she looks so pretty like this,open and ready for me.  
I start licking her with all I've got, long strokes from her asshole to her aching clit, up and down "Oh hon you're so good, feels so fucking good... please don't stop!" She moans. I increase the pace,then I push two fingers in her tight hot hole while I speed up my tongue on her clit, I bury my head more into her and lick with all my strenght to get her to orgasm, and when she does it's the most beautiful sight I've ever witnessed; her eyes shut, skin red and sweaty, her mouth open in a silent scream and it's all because of me, I caused that and it makes my heart swell with love and pride.

I climb up her body and curl up against her side,resting my head on her breast and sighing contently. She pets my hair and kisses my forehead lightly before saying " I'm so happy here with you. I love you so much honey, you're my light, without you everything's dark for me, colorless, empty" I brush a lock of black hair behind her ear and wisper tenderly " I love you too. You always make me feel so loved, so important and beautiful" she looks at me with a soft smile and says "That's because you are beautiful hon".  
I giggle lightly before continuing "I'm serious love. I've never felt like this before, like maybe I truly have a chance of getting better. I feel like your love is everything I've ever needed,I know it" We kiss slowly and softly, then she wraps her hands around my scarred arms and says "We're going to be so happy together" and I say looking into her soft green ones "No Matter what"  
THE END

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, I really hope you liked this, if you did leave a comment or kudos if you want to.


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